Something is changing

and I don't know what.

But it's something Big. and Good.

And I like it.

But it makes me feel nervous.

Because I know it's so big and good and I think

I don't deserve it
It won't last
I'll mess it up
Waste it
Let the world beat it out of me
Take it for granted in a week or two


But then I just want to go outside and run and dance and yell and invite people to participate in whatever is happening to me.

Honestly, I think this is what happiness peace is like.

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I haven't showered or changed after my run, my face is red because of the lighting and because I have a red face. I took this using my brother's webcam, and I didn't analyze the usual things I find wrong with my pictures. I just took the picture, and I like it. It's me smiling.

I'm at college. And that's pretty cool.

Hey guys!
I'm back! Sorry for the random little intermission in my blog posting. My last post was in November (um. Almost a year ago. Huh.) and my life got a little complicated after that.

I'm at college.

That's pretty cool. I like it. I'd post a picture, but it's actually kind of hard to find a picture that defines it.

From this picture, you see that I'm at BYUI
And it snows.

I've been in Rexburg for almost a month, but I finally moved into my apartment last night. I live with 5 other girls (crazy) and it's always loud. There are three freshmen (including me) and it's nice to finally not be the youngest person. I will add more info about my roommates later. When I know them a little more. 

I've spent a lot of time wandering around Rexburg lately, so I am familiar with the town. It's really nice here. Little and full of cute little places perfect for college students. Thrift stores, dollar stores, student discounts... This is what I like about here.

And. 
This.

Not great quality, but the beauty of the
building makes up for it.

I can see the temple from almost anywhere in town. It's at the top of the only hill and they keep it lit up so bright that it looks like a bit of sunlight even in the middle of the night.

I love it.

I have church in a building on campus. I'm a member of the 71st ward and we meet at 1:50. Yup. I have church from 1:50 to 4:50 in the afternoon. That seems crazy late to me but I know We'll all going to sleep in anyway. And probably be late.




It's 10:30. And I'm exhausted. 'night loves.

My Body is Beautiful

And it's time for me to start treating it that way.

I'm tired of comparing myself to other people. I'm tired of looking down at my body and sideways at other's and hating both of us. Me, for not being as pretty as they are, and them, for being prettier than I. Well, that's not very nice, now is it?

So I quit. This is my Mid-July resolution to see my body for what it really is, a beautiful, capable house for my soul. I'm done thinking I'm worth less than skinnier people, and I'm done wishing I like someone else.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but everyone has fat.

There's something wrong if you don't have fat on your body. No kidding, go to a doctor.

All people have fat on their bodies. It cushions you and stuff like that. (can you tell I know what I'm talking about?) Of course some people have more/less than others. Duh. The problem is when there's too much of it to be healthy. I have more fat on my body than is healthy. Does this make me less of a person (nah...kind of the opposite...lol) or not worth respect?

I want to be healthy and happy. I believe healthy comes first. I am trying to eat healthier, exercise more, plan and prioritize my life. I am trying to find balance.

Every month I want to make some small but meaningful and long lasting change. My goal is not to lose weight. It's not to build muscle, or clear my complexion.

My goal is to develop healthy friendships. Be able to run away from an attacker. Smile easily when I look in the mirror. My goal is to be able to have the style I want because I can find clothes that are both the type I want and in my size. My goal is to stop being sarcastic, critical, and self deprecating. My goal is to find happiness through service. To rebuild my relationship with my Heavenly Father.

happy. beautiful.
so are you.

What are your mid July goals?